I have been thinking a great deal about longevity this week for several reasons:

• I am still in utter shock that Mike Portnoy left Dream Theater after 25 years with the band.
• I saw Rush for the third time this tour and the band shows no sign of stopping–after more than 35 years.
• A few weeks ago, I dropped out of my fantasy football league after a dispute–after seven years of near-constant smack talk.
• As I write this, I’m also on my annual geek-basketball trip with my friends from Carnegie Mellon. I’ve been friends with these guys for 20 years.

So, why do some relationships last for so long? Why are some ephemeral? Why are some doomed from the start? Why do some fracture after a long time?

It’s just a fascinating series of questions, at least to me. I’m not going to pretend to have all of the answers. In no particular order, I’ll throw out five reasons that explain longevity:

• Chemistry
• Necessity
• Enjoyment and Common Objectives
• Fighting Well
• Timing

Chemistry

Whether it’s a matter of personal or professional relationships, there’s just something to be said for clicking. Everything isn’t a struggle; there isn’t the constant pushing and pulling so prevalent in so many dysfunctional relationships. The parties just plain get each other. Perhaps this is the most important reason for people getting together. Thanks to technology, in all walks of life, there are just so many alternatives out there right now–and it’s so easy to find them. When chemistry issues emerge, it’s often not terribly hard for people to find other, ostensibly greener pastures.

Necessity

At some point, the parties recognize that they need each other and the good outweighs the bad. How many of you know people who constantly complain about their jobs but fail to quit because of a personal situation, bad economy, or some other reason? Discontents or malcontents like to blow off steam but really don’t want to do anything about their lots in life.

Enjoyment and Common Objectives

Whether it’s being a part of a fantasy football league, traditional job, or band, you just have to like what you’re doing and where you’re going. You have to like and accept your role in the group. The good just has to outweigh the bad.

I find it interesting when long-term relationships begin to fray, as we saw with Portnoy leaving Dream Theater. No longer did everyone in the band want the same things. Sometimes people just need space, even if they love the others in the group.

Fighting Well

Fights happen in all relationships. Signals break down, communication suffers, and expectations begin to diverge. I’ve noticed that the best groups are comprised of people who generally fight pretty well–and aren’t afraid of fighting. Pretending that disagreements will never take place is just plain silly. How you manage conflict is essential in minimizing short- and long-term damage. I’d even argue that it’s healthy to fight, as long as its done well.

Timing

Timing is everything, as they say. I’ve noticed that relationships come to an end when what works for one person in a group just stops working. Life happens. Priorities change. Perhaps that’s why so few groups stay together for so long. Bands like Rush and U2 are the exceptions that prove the rule.

Feedback

What say you? What are the most important factors in explaining longevity?

A recent post by Forrester Research’s James McQuivey about the state of book publishing aroused my ire today. McQuivey laments the recent decision by Simon and Schuster and Hachette Book Group not to “release most eBook editions until the hardbacks have been on shelves for four months.”

McQuivey correctly points out that “old guard” media institutions such as the record industry, magazines, newspapers, and publishers have been slow to embrace the digital age. It’s certainly hard to argue with that assessment.

However, I have a hard time stomaching McQuivey’s argument here:

…books really aren’t worth $25. Just like newspapers weren’t really worth what people were paying for them and magazines, either. And CDs, and DVDs. These were all worthy of a high price when analog economics were the only economics. When people understood that they paid $25 to get some paper, ink, and a binding, all of which had to be warehoused, shipped, and slotted on shelves in warm stores with muzak and imported coffee odors wafting through the environment.

A digital book suffers from none of those impediments. Therefore: it should be cheaper. Stop glorying in historical prices and accept the fact that a digital book should not cost $25 unless it comes with some awesome, exclusive premium that makes it worthy of such a price.

Different Conceptions of “Value” and a Flawed Argument

Of course, the digital world means that the marginal cost of reproducing a eBook or digital track is effectively zero. This is simple economics. I have no bone to pick with McQuivey on this point.

However, am I the only one a little uncomfortable with some pundit deciding what a book should be worth? Or, more colorfully, to quote The Dude in The Big Lebowski, “What the fuck is with this guy?”

Call me laissez faire, but shouldn’t the market drive the price of a book? Do we really want someone arbitrarily deciding what constitutes “fair” value.

I can think of books that, on a personal level, have given me thousands of dollars in “value”, such as Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. That book significantly improved my people skills and relationships. On the other hand, for me, a trashy romance novel has no value. To others, however, it’s a much-needed form of escape.

At a core level, value has always varied according to each individual consumer. If Rush released a new CD tomorrow with a $100 price, rest assured that I’d buy it without blinking an eye. Most of my friends wouldn’t pay $1 for the same album. There’s one simple reason for this apparent contradiction:

I have much better taste in music than most of my friends.

I jest, of course. But if you think about only the cost of production, then yes, $25 might seem inflated for a book. However, think about the following:

• the number of pages in most books
• how long it takes a person to read an average book of 250 pages

On a per-hour basis, reading is still a really cheap form of entertainment, whether the price of a book is $25 or the $10 number that McQuivey deems appropriate.

A Different World and the Consequences of “Free”

Finally, let’s not forget that there are myriad stores and sites (ok, just sites) selling new and used books. If a book is listed at $24.95, does anyone actually pay that? Let’s go back a few years. We are certainly not living in the early 90s. When I was in college, no one was able to find low cost textbooks nearly as easily as one can today. We were beholden to the college book store. Not no mo’.

The bottom line is that the Internet has caused the prices of many things to drop precipitously–and books certainly fall into that group. The net is an unparalleled distribution network driving prices lower and lower. Those that think that all books should be “free” means that fewer authors will take the time to pen important and entertaining works. Do we as a society really want that?

What do you think? Is this author being defensive and, to use The Dude’s word, uptight?

Scary Implications

I can’t help but be a little frightened about the implications of these stories:

• In March, the Philadelphia Eagles fired Dan Leone, a stadium operator, for posting disparaging remarks on social networking site Facebook. Perhaps ironically, Marissa Anastasio-Leone soon started on Facebook a group intent on making the Eagles give her husband his job back.
• Professional sports’ organizations such as the NBA and NFL have actually had to create and enforce policies surrounding the use of Twitter during games.
• Faced with growing privacy and security concerns, Google has had to blur the faces of individuals on its Google Maps application. Technically, this happened in 2008 but I somehow only heard about it in the last few months. (Hey, even tech-boy here can’t possibly know everything about everything.)
• In April, 18 year old Phillip Alpert of Orlando, FL was convicted of “sexting” a naked picture sent to him by his 16 year old girlfriend. He was sentenced to five years in prison and required to register as a sex offender.
• Also in April, Philip Markoff allegedly used Craigslist to solicit the services of model Julissa Brisman. Markoff allegedly attacked at least two more women using the popular website.

Questions to Ponder

These stories make me wonder:

• Why do so many criminals share my first name?
• Where do we draw the line between work and leisure?
• Is there such a thing as a private text?
• How safe can we expect to be online?
• Do we have an expectation of privacy anymore?
  
• Will everything eventually be available about everyone?
• Are these technological advancements a net gain for society?
  

Predictions: What does 2010 have in store for us?

Let’s be honest here: Technology isn’t retreating anytime soon. Social media will only make us more connected, more exposed, more vulnerable. Even if we attempt to control what’s said or written about us, the delineation between our public and private lives will continue to erode.

Why do you think that Tiger Woods had to come clean? An insanely private person, I can’t imagine that he’d want to admit to “transgressions” if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. So why? He–and his inner sanctum–know that nothing stays private for very long these days. There are always texts, voice mails, emails, videos, tweets, and other forms of “media” that leak out, no matter how well you cover your tracks.

I certainly can’t predict the future. If I did, I wouldn’t have bought JDS Uniphase at $135/share back in the day. I am sure of two things, though:

• Technology keeps moving forward
• 2010 will be an interesting year for technology.

What do you think, loyal readers? Am I wildly off base or are you as curious as I am about what technology has in store for us in the next year?

Simon 1.0 was actually a composite of two different ones: a “main” site and a WordPress one–a high-tech Band-Aid, as it were. There was simply so easy way for me to easily integrate the two sites. Updating the register.com site with my blog entries from the WordPress one required a decent amount of work.

Second, from an aesthetic standpoint, my old site just didn’t have the look and feel that I wanted. The templates from register.com only took me so far and—trust me—I tried many things like rss-include and wix over the past year to spruce it up. Since my next book is about newer technologies, I suppose that I ought to use some of them as main my window to the world, to quote a song from Canadian icon Geddy Lee.

Third, WordPress’s CMS freaking rocks and, at the risk of disparaging my previous hosting company, there’s really no comparison between the two. The number and types of WordPress plug-ins just blow my mind. To be sure, this site will be easier for me to maintain and more aesthetically pleasing than Simon 1.0. As a result, there are two major benefits:

• Readers will find the site more user-friendly.
• I can more easily add (hopefully interesting) content.

So, What’s New?

New features include the ability to easily subscribe to comments and much more integrated search capability, largely stemming from the fact that all content now resides within the same domain. My only frustration so far (after only a few days of noodling with the site) is why I waited so long to move to the WP platform.

Major props to Shiri Design Studio for its absolutely fantastic job. Rarely have I worked with a vendor so diligent, honest, budget-conscious, and knowledgeable. I only hope that I provide the same level of service for my own clients.

As Morpheus said in The Matrix, “Welcome to the real world.”

Thanks for checking out the new site. Feel free to contact me if you have any thoughts or find an issue.

Phil