Humanize the interviewer.

Maybe Mr. Reporter or Ms. Talk Show Host is just swamped. Maybe the dog ate her homework or an emergency prevented him from reading your book or article, test-driving your product, etc. View the person asking the questions as an actual person. Empathize.

Do not get upset.

You have a right to be a little miffed. After all, you took time out of your schedule and the interviewer could have at least spent five minutes checking out your web site, right? I couldn’t agree more, but getting upset serves very little purpose. Go to a bar later…

In the meantime, remember that potential listeners, viewers, and readers may very well have the same questions as your interviewer. That is, you can still educate the interviewer’s audience–as well as the interviewer.

Answer the questions asked.

Perhaps you didn’t show up to talk about events in China, AOL, the Boston Celtics, the most recent Twitter redesign, or how to monetize a website. Being evasive or completely non-responsive is only going to irritate the interviewer and, trust me, things are likely to spiral downward from there.

Do your part, especially if you’re live. Play ball. Remember the previous rule.

But steer the answers and conversation into the direction in which you want to go.

Even with oddball or not totally relevant questions, you still have an opportunity to influence the conversation. Many if not most questions have a great deal of wiggle room. For instance, I was asked on a recent TV appearance about the “stickiness of websites.” Now, I can talk about this ad nasueum, but it wasn’t terribly germane to the supposed topic of the interview. And it can open Pandora’s Box.

No bother.

I said a few things to answer the question, but related it on the fly to platforms and, in this case, Facebook.

Once I moved the conversation closer to my heart (intentional Rush reference), the interviewers improvised and started asking me questions related to the book.

Know when to say “I don’t know.”

Even chatty types like me occasionally get stumped. In fact, you could write several libraries filled with large books about what I don’t know. And that’s an important limitation to understand. You’ll do a few things by being honest when stumped. First, you will communicate to the interviewer that you respect his/her time. More important from your perspective, though, you’ll save valuable time. You can then hopefully answer the questions that you were supposed to answer from the get-go.

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In 2004 I moved from Brooklyn, NY to Caldwell, NJ. I just didn’t enjoy living in an urban environment. I’m a suburban guy and, quite frankly, the cost, noise, expense, and overall intensity of the Big City was a bit too much for this simple man to handle.

Fast forward seven years. I love my place in New Jersey—other than insane taxes. Despite what Governor Chris Christie is trying to do and my recent tax abatement, NJ property taxes are still the highest in the country. On a professional level, I do alright for myself, but I know that I could save upwards of $20,000/year by moving to a less expensive part of the country.

A Change of Directions

Back in 2004, I made all of my money by consulting, typically with large companies implementing big, expensive systems. I started the Phil Diversification Project in mid-2008. I knew that it was fundamentally dangerous for all of my income to stem from one source. I also thought that, like a friend of mine, I could make money from writing, speaking, and doing different types of consulting.

By 2011, I was making money  from different sources. I found myself less and less interested in those big consulting assignments with bureaucratic organizations. Writing The New Small and working with so many dynamic folks and companies made me less willing to take on projects that, in all likelihood, were going to be highly adversarial.

Life’s too short. Do what you want—as long as you can pay the bills doing it.

Why Vegas?

For one, I can save a great deal of money. With fewer expenses, I can be pickier about the types of writing, speaking, and consulting engagements that I choose to take. For example, I no longer have the annual “nut” of $11,000 in property taxes and association fees hanging over my head.

Taking on better clients and speaking gigs means more personal satisfaction. Period.

Second, on a personal level, I like warm weather. A six-month maelstrom of record-breaking snow, winds, and rain has left a bad taste in my mouth. While Vegas can be oppressively hot, I suppose that I’m willing to trade three months of heat for five to six months of “unhot.”

Third, because it’s Vegas. “The City of Lost Wages” is home to a bevy of conferences and events, such as the recent Growco conference at which I spoke. Being local means that, all else equal, I’m easier to book than the NJ version of me.

Finally, technology has continued to improve at God speed. GoogleDocs, Video Skype, GoToMyPC and other screen sharing tools, and other collaborate applications make it extremely easy for me to support clients all over the globe with a simple Internet connection.

To paraphrase Pacino in Heat: Bon voyage, New Jersey. You were good.

In what was one of the most compelling finals in recent NBA history, the Mavs beat the Heat. In no particular, here’s what the entire LeBron-a-thon this year teaches us:

• Studs and duds doesn’t work as a strategy for building a team. The Mavs have one legitimate star and a bunch of very good players.
• Unsuspected stars emerge. J.J. Barea was on no one’s radar this year and was one of the more important factors in the series.
• Controversy makes for great marketing. Think about it: How many of you watched just because you wanted him to lose?
• Make a big spectacle of yourself and you’ll make enemies. Lots of ‘em.
• Everyone has a voice via Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.
• LeBron has to do some growing up. Case in point: Mocking Dirk’s illness.

Leverage is a fickle thing. Consider the following:

• The company in a remote area has a tremendous amount of leverage of local employees, especially if the latter have no desire to learn new skills or move.
• The highly skilled employee weighing multiple offers can exert significant leverage over each prospective employer.
• The home seller has leverage over the buyer who becomes emotional, especially if the former doesn’t have to move.
• The cable company has leverage over its customers, especially when local rules prohibit free choice (as is the case in my neighborhood).
• The author with a strong following is holding some strong cards over her publisher for her next book advance, especially since self-publishing is becoming an increasingly viable–and less stigmatized–option.

I could go on, but you get my point.

So, what are you doing to maximize your leverage?

I walk into the Empire Room on 5th Avenue in Manhattan last night for NxNYC. It’s a clear parody of the big event in Austin, TX this week. I see a few familiar faces and exchange some hugs and kiss hellos. After getting situated, I start to meet new people.

It turns out that there are quite a few people there looking for work. Sign of the times, I suppose. A bunch are seeking employment with a company in a social media or corporate communications’ capacity. In theory, these are the people who would be creating content for their prospective employers. Think blog posts, podcasts, and videos.

We eventually exchange business cards and go on our merry ways. This morning, I take a look at some of the cards and see e-mail addresses, Twitter handles, LinkedIn profiles, and cell phone numbers. Yet, there’s something missing on a few of these cards: websites.

I don’t get it.

Wouldn’t this be the first thing to list on a business card? Where else would you showcase what you can could do and, more important, what you have already done? While www.johnsmith.com is probably taken, why not get creative? Even if it’s blogspot.johnsmith.com, why not put your body of work in one place for all the world to see? Think Chris Spurlock here. His resume went viral for a reason: he showed that he’s remarkably creative.

You presumably have the time to launch a site. What’s stopping you?

Highlights

Looking back, I am particularly fond of the following events and achievements:

• It’s hard to top the premeir of the Rush documentary and the fist-pumps that I exchanged with Alex and Geddy (about 1:33 in here). Yes, I’m the guy in the “Got Geddy” blue t-shirt with the ear-to-ear grin. Great event–and the concerts supporting the forthcoming album were just awesome.
• I am particuarly proud of the publication of my third book, The New Small. It’s my best book, period. Early reviews (such as this one from Dawn Westerberg) have been extremely positive. Along these lines, the Kickstarter project was particularly inspriational. I made some great new friendships with some incredibly dynamic small business onwers.
• The launch of my new book site was quite a rush (pun intended). My developer @shiriamram is ridiculously talented.
• Attending DataFlux ideas and speaking to the attendees was amazing. These folks are just amazing to work with.
• I appeared on television for the first time to discuss my new book. Fastest seven minutes of my life.
• Five words: An honest 85 at Rutgers. I shot the single best round of my life at the end of the summer with a only one double bogey. I’m not a good golfer but I remember every shot of that round. There weren’t that many, after all. (Ironically, I’m still a bit miffed that I three-putted 18.)
• My new iMac Pro brought me into an entirely different world. I still have quite a bit to learn, but it’s neat to no longer be on the outside looking in at what I believe is the future of computing.

Disappointments

I have my health, a great cadre of friends, some degree of financial stability, and a reasonably solid family unit. It’s hard for me to gripe too much. However, not everything went my way in 2010. That’s life. Disappointments included:

• I thought that my second book would do better than it did. I’m proud of it and I suppose that that’s all that ultimately matters.
• Along these lines, I expected to speak at a few more conferences. I had chances to go to some fairly big events but people seemed to have a problem with paying me to travel and share my knowledge. Maybe this had something to do with the economy. Maybe I just wasn’t giving off the right vibe. Something tells me, however, that this is about to change.
• After 25 years with my second favorite band, drummer Mike Portnoy left Dream Theater. (Mike – you’re not reading this and I don’t know you, but I’ve met you a bunch of times and just hope that you find whatever you are looking for.)

The Year Ahead: A New Level?

I’m going “all in” with The New Small. It’ll be available electronically in early January of 2011, once I make a few minor fixes. I can’t release details yet, but I have a great shot to be on some very prominent TV shows and to keynote some conferences for the first time. I believe that the new book hits on something very important.

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What do you wish for in 2010?

I’ve had conversations with two people lately that make me want to write this post. (Call them Jack and Jill here but these are not their real names). These two people provide outstanding service, something I know from personal experience because I have used them. Think that I’m easy on people I hire to do something for me? Think again. I can admittedly be a little tough on my own vendors. I only want to work with the best folks and I’ll never hire someone at a rock-bottom rate because I firmly believe that you get what you pay for.

Setting the Bar High

I set the bar high and Jack and Jill have each cleared it by a mile. In turn, I have recommended them to a decent number of people. This begs the question: What’s in it for me? A juicy referral fee? Not really. You see, because many service providers have disappointed me in my life, I like to spread the word of those who go above and beyond expectations. It just seems like the right thing to do and I have a pretty big mouth.

I become my vendors’ biggest advocates–the same way that I want my clients to go to bat for me, even though I might not be an organization’s preferred vendor list. I might be tough with my vendors but I like to think that I’m fair. Call it the golden rule. My vendors like me because I send business their way and, at my core, I’m a good guy. Whatever foibles I have, my vendors know that whatever I do comes from a good place.

Now, I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal here. (OK, maybe a little.) But it sickens me to hear that Jack and Jill have each recently encountered difficult, bipolar, demanding, indecisive clients (not me, I assure you). Each has confided in me that these clients are far more trouble than they are worth. They are thinking of firing their clients after their current engagements end.

Practicing What I Preach

Easy for me to say, right? Wrong. I actually walk the talk. A few years ago, I did some consulting for a woman who just plain drove me crazy. She was very unclear with me, expected me to drop whatever I was doing whenever she had fifteen minutes, questioned my billable hours, and became upset when I couldn’t read her mind. Oh, and then she conveniently forgot to pay me for six weeks. I kept up a professional veneer, vowing to myself that this would be the last time that I worked with her. When she came calling again a few months later, I passed.

Simon Says

Are people crazy for turning down work in a downward economy? No. They’re completely right. Jack and Jill run their own outfits. They are small business owners who call the shots. No “senior partner” or VP of Division XYZ tells Jack and Jill what to do. They are intelligent and mature enough to make their own decisions.

But even big companies ought to fire their clients more often. (They usually are not, but that’s a topic for The New Small.) The definition of bad business is not confined to mom-and-pop stores. We’ve all seen big companies indulge high-maintenance clients to everyone’s detriment. In any economy, some clients are far more trouble than they’re worth.

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Someone recently asked me after an interview about The New Small , “Do you sleep?”

It’s a valid question given the time stamps on many of my emails and the fact that it will be my third book published in 2010. Let’s just say that I consistently break the 4 am barrier because I have problems sleeping. So, yes, I do sleep, if you want to call it that.

I’m not bragging here. While I am very proud of my books, I take no pride in the fact that I often wake up and start working well before most of the civilized world would even dream of waking up. I have even beat some of my European friends to the punch responding to emails–and they have quite the head start on this Jersey boy. In fact, the opposite is true. My lack of sleep often frustrated growing up.

I have come to terms with this and, in this post, I’m going to show you how I turn this liability into an asset.

Making My Dysfunction Work for Me

I have never been adept at sleeping. I can crash pretty quickly, often resembling a narcoleptic. Now, staying asleep is the challenge. For whatever reason, my brain or body decides that after anywhere four or five hours, I’ve had enough downtime and it’s time to get cracking. In this way, I’m much like another early-riser, Cisco CEO John Chamber, absent the billions in net worth.

Sure, I can get a few more hours with the help of pills. I rarely do that, though, because I’d rather get something done. Self-medicating has never really appealed to me. My view on sleep–or what I define as sleep–feeds into one my theories of life.

Simon’s Theory of Windows

There are plenty of really smart and talented people out there, most of whom we will never know. As Malcolm Gladwell discusses in Outliers, being smart and talented isn’t enough. You have to be a little bit lucky as well. But how can we maximize our odds of getting lucky?

I’m a big believer in making your own luck. This means taking advantage of windows in your life to do things that might be impossible–or at least very difficult–at later points. For example, a friend of mine has three young and adorable girls. He’d love to write more and play with different technologies. However, with his schedule and obligations (including a full-time job), he just doesn’t have the time. I have no excuse. I just don’t have the same restrictions.

Applying my grand theory on a micro scale works also. This means fighting the universal urge to procrastinate. Sometimes, the last thing that I want to do is write an article for one of my clients or do actual work. Even I occasionally lack inspiration to be productive. Maybe I’d rather play tennis or golf. These are important outlets for me on many levels. These can be compelling distractions, especially when it’s nice out.

That’s why it’s important for me to take advantage of the windows of opportunity. For example, I was recently stuck in the Las Vegas’ airport for seven hours. (Thank you, American Airlines.) Rather than fret and lose a bundle at the video poker machines, I edited the manuscript for my next book. The time just flew by. While I didn’t like being stranded in Sin City, I used the time productively.

Simon Says

These daily and life windows are fleeting for everyone, and I’m no exception. Should my personal situation change, what kind of husband or father would I be if I somewhat selfishly focused on my next book? Yes, I would have to earn money to support my family, but at what cost? These are thorny personal questions that many people face every day. However, I do know this: I would regret not having finished my next book or article or project while I had the chance.

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What say you? What do you do with your unexpected downtime?

One of my favorite TV shows is Charlie Rose on PBS. The guy knows how to interview and his variety of guests is nothing less than astonishing. I’m a pretty religious watcher of the show, although sometimes the political ones don’t hold my interest.

I was particularly intrigued by a recent show with Zach Galifianakis. In between chuckles, Galifianakis talked about how, at an early age, his father told him to combine labor and love. It’s the single reason that he endured years of poorly populated stand-up gigs and varying degrees of despair over the course of his career. While he may be in a trove of shows and movies these days, he’s anything but an overnight success.

This got me thinking…do I combine labor and love?

In a word, yes. But it wasn’t always this way.

Back in Time

Let’s take a ride back on a time machine, as Rush recently did. In 1997, I graduated from Cornell University with a Master’s in Industrial and Labor Relations. I started working in corporate HR and it was soon obvious that it was a terrible fit for me. I think in terms of technology, data, systems, and general order–not exactly the types of things that would endear me to most HR folks. I just didn’t have the greatest capacity for appreciating the gray areas related to employee discipline, thorny people management issues, and other HR stuff. (Truth be told, I still don’t.)

I knew that I needed to make a change. Of course, it would take me a number of years with a number of different companies and roles. While not exactly sure of where I was going, I knew that I had to work closer with technology. I loved computers as a kid and I was pretty good at basic programming, problem solving, and testing. Today, I am very happy that I took that long, arduous path. When I explain to people my background in labor relations and how I now write about technology and management issues, most people shake their heads in disbelief.

Simon Says

No one loves what they do all the time. For many people, it’s sufficient to simply not hate their boss, company, and colleagues. For others searching for work, they’d take any job. But what about those looking for more than a paycheck? Mark me down as someone who enjoys actually liking what he does for a living–even if he makes less money in the process.

Anyone can make a change. I’m a case in point. It’s a little frustrating to hear people constantly whine about their jobs. Few people are conscripted into employment and, while life circumstances don’t mean that everyone has the freedom to just “up and quit”, I often wonder why more people don’t have long-term plans to combine labor and love.

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I have been thinking a great deal about longevity this week for several reasons:

• I am still in utter shock that Mike Portnoy left Dream Theater after 25 years with the band.
• I saw Rush for the third time this tour and the band shows no sign of stopping–after more than 35 years.
• A few weeks ago, I dropped out of my fantasy football league after a dispute–after seven years of near-constant smack talk.
• As I write this, I’m also on my annual geek-basketball trip with my friends from Carnegie Mellon. I’ve been friends with these guys for 20 years.

So, why do some relationships last for so long? Why are some ephemeral? Why are some doomed from the start? Why do some fracture after a long time?

It’s just a fascinating series of questions, at least to me. I’m not going to pretend to have all of the answers. In no particular order, I’ll throw out five reasons that explain longevity:

• Chemistry
• Necessity
• Enjoyment and Common Objectives
• Fighting Well
• Timing

Chemistry

Whether it’s a matter of personal or professional relationships, there’s just something to be said for clicking. Everything isn’t a struggle; there isn’t the constant pushing and pulling so prevalent in so many dysfunctional relationships. The parties just plain get each other. Perhaps this is the most important reason for people getting together. Thanks to technology, in all walks of life, there are just so many alternatives out there right now–and it’s so easy to find them. When chemistry issues emerge, it’s often not terribly hard for people to find other, ostensibly greener pastures.

Necessity

At some point, the parties recognize that they need each other and the good outweighs the bad. How many of you know people who constantly complain about their jobs but fail to quit because of a personal situation, bad economy, or some other reason? Discontents or malcontents like to blow off steam but really don’t want to do anything about their lots in life.

Enjoyment and Common Objectives

Whether it’s being a part of a fantasy football league, traditional job, or band, you just have to like what you’re doing and where you’re going. You have to like and accept your role in the group. The good just has to outweigh the bad.

I find it interesting when long-term relationships begin to fray, as we saw with Portnoy leaving Dream Theater. No longer did everyone in the band want the same things. Sometimes people just need space, even if they love the others in the group.

Fighting Well

Fights happen in all relationships. Signals break down, communication suffers, and expectations begin to diverge. I’ve noticed that the best groups are comprised of people who generally fight pretty well–and aren’t afraid of fighting. Pretending that disagreements will never take place is just plain silly. How you manage conflict is essential in minimizing short- and long-term damage. I’d even argue that it’s healthy to fight, as long as its done well.

Timing

Timing is everything, as they say. I’ve noticed that relationships come to an end when what works for one person in a group just stops working. Life happens. Priorities change. Perhaps that’s why so few groups stay together for so long. Bands like Rush and U2 are the exceptions that prove the rule.

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What say you? What are the most important factors in explaining longevity?